Quote by Samuel Butler: “Silence is not always tact and it is tact that ...”
Silence is not always Golden by Reema Das
‘It is ___ that is golden not silence’: Samuel Butler
Miscommunications happen all the time. This occurs because our brains cannot process all the information in front of us, so we take subconscious mental short-cuts and make assumptions. Those assumptions are typically formed by past experiences or other frames of reference. Often we assume that we did something wrong or that the other person is upset with us in some capacity. Typically, that assumption is incorrect and the most common reasoning for their lack of response is that the other person got busy or distracted.
This advice is certainly correct for public speaking, but for conversation, I've observed that saying "uh" and "um" is actually a good habit for most people. They convey clearly that you intend to speak soon. Without them, others interrupt or assume you're not listening. It's quite understandable that people would bring that good habit to a new context where it's surprisingly counterproductive. It mostly means thinking before I speak rather than as I speak The latter pattern is what results in rambling on; thinking as you speak rather than before is sort of like speaking as you would write, but without the editing you would do next.
As a favour to my readers who have found themselves banned from other sites I offer….., A proverbial saying, often used in circumstances where it is thought that saying nothing is preferable to speaking. As with many proverbs, the origin of this phrase is obscured by the mists of time.
But sometimes, the best option is to not say anything at all. By creating a space in a conversation for people to think and process, silence can be an incredibly useful tool. Silence can also be uncomfortable, which is what makes it so powerful. If you pause for several seconds after you ask a question or make a statement, other people will feel compelled to fill the silence, which can work to your benefit. To be clear, there are times when silence is absolutely not the answer.